
"The tiger springs in the new year. Us he devours."
With mighty strength, the sea crashes onto the shore.
In awe, I laugh,the salt of the sea.
Water rise, raise these eyes so sore
Wonders 'neath these crumbling towers, it is me you feed.
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1.3.2010
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"Raw Material"
I love your words I love your smile I love how unique and singular you are.
I love your comfort I love your hands I love how honest your eyes are.
I love that you trust me.I love your knowledge.I love your wisdom.
I love your nonsense.I love your wit.I love your sanity and insanity.
I care for your soul.I care for your salvation.I care for your brilliance.
I care for your choices.I care for your honesty.I care for these moments.
I care for this relationship.I care for its growth.I care for your happiness.
I care for an outcome.I care for our friendship.I care for its importance.
But I have loved and cared before.
I might care and love again.
And frankly I don't always know the outcome.

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1.12.2010
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If I had a different name this would be different
Im hoping this change of hair color will make up for that
I wrestle with these thoughts and take all of them too seriously
I pick and choose and hope they are from on high
If I lie still, I wonder what you're thinking
If I keep moving, I pretend I'm not thinking
If I wander, I get lost and wonder what I was thinking
Men went out to sea, and women waited
I count the days it takes for your letters to get to me
I imagine myself near you with frozen feet, as a red nosed reindeer
I read the letters you wrote before you left
You loved me then.
I speak Russian in my sleep.
I pretend you've forgiven me.
I remember your voice shaking in the water.
Your smile when you said forever.
I take upon myself His name and mourn.
I wonder how many drops of blood were my doing.
I feel the weight of his glory, and the nothingness of man.
I wander if you will ever love me again.
I close my eyes and live in frozen moments.
And I wait, and wait, and wait.
My heart longs to be forgiven, by God.
I fear and pray this time isnt wasted.
And that I am not forsaken.
I beg for warmth,and comfort
In faith, I walk alone.
And I wait to be answered.
I pray to listen, I pray for peace.
I pray I will make it home.
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