A Mind In Writing by Heike Heinze

This are the thoughts that erupt from the emotional state of moi, collectively, states of being that have in themselves a sort of independency as it relates to different experiences and periods of time.This in no way can reflect upon the thoughts and intents of heart I have now although it is a glimpse into the ever changing mind and the experiences and thoughts that accumulate and grow within our mortal lives, entailing our imperfect and perfect attributes and spurts of growth and maturity as further diagnosed as the body ages, the soul expands, and writings wither and are rewritten.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

JANUARY:



"The tiger springs in the new year. Us he devours."




With mighty strength, the sea crashes onto the shore.

In awe, I laugh,the salt of the sea.

Water rise, raise these eyes so sore

Wonders 'neath these crumbling towers, it is me you feed.



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1.3.2010

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"Raw Material"


I love your words I love your smile I love how unique and singular you are.

I love your comfort I love your hands I love how honest your eyes are.

I love that you trust me.I love your knowledge.I love your wisdom.

I love your nonsense.I love your wit.I love your sanity and insanity.

I care for your soul.I care for your salvation.I care for your brilliance.

I care for your choices.I care for your honesty.I care for these moments.

I care for this relationship.I care for its growth.I care for your happiness.

I care for an outcome.I care for our friendship.I care for its importance.


But I have loved and cared before.

I might care and love again.

And frankly I don't always know the outcome.









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1.12.2010

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If I had a different name this would be different

Im hoping this change of hair color will make up for that

I wrestle with these thoughts and take all of them too seriously

I pick and choose and hope they are from on high

If I lie still, I wonder what you're thinking

If I keep moving, I pretend I'm not thinking

If I wander, I get lost and wonder what I was thinking


Men went out to sea, and women waited

I count the days it takes for your letters to get to me

I imagine myself near you with frozen feet, as a red nosed reindeer

I read the letters you wrote before you left

You loved me then.


I speak Russian in my sleep.

I pretend you've forgiven me.

I remember your voice shaking in the water.

Your smile when you said forever.


I take upon myself His name and mourn.

I wonder how many drops of blood were my doing.

I feel the weight of his glory, and the nothingness of man.

I wander if you will ever love me again.


I close my eyes and live in frozen moments.

And I wait, and wait, and wait.

My heart longs to be forgiven, by God.


I fear and pray this time isnt wasted.

And that I am not forsaken.

I beg for warmth,and comfort

In faith, I walk alone.


And I wait to be answered.

I pray to listen, I pray for peace.

I pray I will make it home.


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